Crap Brapps

"We need an app"

"No, you need a punch in the face..."

Welcome to the world of crap branded apps.
Buddy Check is an app that helps you and your friends to keep track of each other when going out. GPS functionality combined with timed buddy checks makes it more fun and safe to stick together throughout the night.
OR, I’ve got a better idea. Stop being such a prick and let your friends enjoy them-fucking-selves. If they wanna go shag anything that breathes, or pass out and get hypothermia in a ditch, let them! If you’re old enough to drink, you’re old enough to look after your drunk ass.
I swear to god, if I ever meet the person who conceived this, or in fact anyone using this piece of crap app, I’ll smash a kettlebell onto their toes.

Buddy Check is an app that helps you and your friends to keep track of each other when going out. GPS functionality combined with timed buddy checks makes it more fun and safe to stick together throughout the night.

OR, I’ve got a better idea. Stop being such a prick and let your friends enjoy them-fucking-selves. If they wanna go shag anything that breathes, or pass out and get hypothermia in a ditch, let them! If you’re old enough to drink, you’re old enough to look after your drunk ass.

I swear to god, if I ever meet the person who conceived this, or in fact anyone using this piece of crap app, I’ll smash a kettlebell onto their toes.

Want to learn more about what Accenture does?Sky Journey challenges you to use Accenture digital, strategy, tec…
Wait, wait, let me just stop you right there. You didn’t give me a chance to answer your question.
NO I FUCKING DON’T WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT WHAT ACCENTURE DOES. AND IF I AM A BUSINESSMAN WORTH THEIR SALT I’D FIND OUT ANY OTHER WAY THAN DICKING AROUND WITH YOUR POXY MOBILE GAME.

Want to learn more about what Accenture does?
Sky Journey challenges you to use Accenture digital, strategy, tec…

Wait, wait, let me just stop you right there. You didn’t give me a chance to answer your question.

NO I FUCKING DON’T WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT WHAT ACCENTURE DOES. AND IF I AM A BUSINESSMAN WORTH THEIR SALT I’D FIND OUT ANY OTHER WAY THAN DICKING AROUND WITH YOUR POXY MOBILE GAME.

With Veet-it, you can select and delete your mensions and re-tweets with in the last 28 days.You can easily find & remove your unwanted tweets by searching a specific word.
WHERE DO I START?! First off, it’s ‘mentions’ with a ‘T’ not an ‘S’ you utter waste of f*cking oxygen. 
And secondly, I would rather remove my pubic hair with a belt sander covered in tacks, than even acknowledge this is an application, marketing, software, or any form of intelligence from those who made it.

With Veet-it, you can select and delete your mensions and re-tweets with in the last 28 days.You can easily find & remove your unwanted tweets by searching a specific word.

WHERE DO I START?! First off, it’s ‘mentions’ with a ‘T’ not an ‘S’ you utter waste of f*cking oxygen. 

And secondly, I would rather remove my pubic hair with a belt sander covered in tacks, than even acknowledge this is an application, marketing, software, or any form of intelligence from those who made it.

Introducing Perfect Pop, from the makers of Pop Secret. Perfect Pop listens to the pops coming from your microwave to find the precise moment when your Pop Secret popcorn is perfectly done.
"F*ck me, before I had this app I had to use the long complicated instructions to cook my popcorn. Thank F*CK for Perfect Pop making it so simple to make popcorn, and to hate every bone in the body of the people who made this spunk dumpster of an app a reality"

Introducing Perfect Pop, from the makers of Pop Secret. Perfect Pop listens to the pops coming from your microwave to find the precise moment when your Pop Secret popcorn is perfectly done.

"F*ck me, before I had this app I had to use the long complicated instructions to cook my popcorn. Thank F*CK for Perfect Pop making it so simple to make popcorn, and to hate every bone in the body of the people who made this spunk dumpster of an app a reality"

The T.G.I. Friday’s YOLO App is here to help you live life to the fullest – whether you’re celebrating with friends and family, going on the ultimate night out or whatever you love to live for!Capture those YOLO moments with photos, videos and comments and keep them all in one place – no more jumping from album to album to see all the action. Invite your friends to join in – they can add their own content straight into your events too!
You utter, utter SH*TC*NTS. Anyone involved with this app deserves to have YOLO tattooed on their tongue and eyeballs…and then take a baseball bat to the throat.

The T.G.I. Friday’s YOLO App is here to help you live life to the fullest – whether you’re celebrating with friends and family, going on the ultimate night out or whatever you love to live for!

Capture those YOLO moments with photos, videos and comments and keep them all in one place – no more jumping from album to album to see all the action. Invite your friends to join in – they can add their own content straight into your events too!

You utter, utter SH*TC*NTS. Anyone involved with this app deserves to have YOLO tattooed on their tongue and eyeballs…and then take a baseball bat to the throat.

Happy Places by Coca-Cola is that place where you can upload photos of your happy moments, share them, and remember them any time you want
My Happy place would be watching a group of angry carnivorous beavers chewing at the crotch of whoever said this would be a smart idea. 

Happy Places by Coca-Cola is that place where you can upload photos of your happy moments, share them, and remember them any time you want

My Happy place would be watching a group of angry carnivorous beavers chewing at the crotch of whoever said this would be a smart idea. 

Flush&Go is the only tube you can flush down the toilet which immediately breaks down as soon as it comes into contact with water. Ready for a “roll” playing game? Throw the toilet rolls in the right place as quickly as you can. Ordinary rolls in the rubbish bin. Flush&Go in the toilet.
A GAME ABOUT SH*T ROLL TUBES?! F*CK OFF. I MEAN…SERIOUSLY…F*CK!

Flush&Go is the only tube you can flush down the toilet which immediately breaks down as soon as it comes into contact with water. Ready for a “roll” playing game? Throw the toilet rolls in the right place as quickly as you can. Ordinary rolls in the rubbish bin. Flush&Go in the toilet.

A GAME ABOUT SH*T ROLL TUBES?! F*CK OFF. I MEAN…SERIOUSLY…F*CK!

Welcome to the Domestos Germ buster app. Play the germ buster game to destroy those ‘menacing nasties’ that lurk in your home and learn about the benefits of Domestos over thin bleach.
Play our game and learn about bleach? You are having a f*cking laugh aren’t you?! To whoever approved this, you should seriously consider your place in society. Moron.

Welcome to the Domestos Germ buster app. Play the germ buster game to destroy those ‘menacing nasties’ that lurk in your home and learn about the benefits of Domestos over thin bleach.

Play our game and learn about bleach? You are having a f*cking laugh aren’t you?! To whoever approved this, you should seriously consider your place in society. Moron.

Be amazed by Jack Nano and Daisy dancing on the palm of your hand or stay entertained by playing their “matching shoes” memory game
I will bet my annual salary, and my testicles, that no poor kid is gonna give a f*ck about playing this piece of sh*t matching game. Seriously Clarks, what do you think the youth of today is really like?!?!

Be amazed by Jack Nano and Daisy dancing on the palm of your hand or stay entertained by playing their “matching shoes” memory game

I will bet my annual salary, and my testicles, that no poor kid is gonna give a f*ck about playing this piece of sh*t matching game. Seriously Clarks, what do you think the youth of today is really like?!?!

Join Cadbury and Hapeebury on a Happy Mission around the nation (and galaxy) in sharing more happiness! 
What the f*ck is this? Seriously, I don’t have a clue…

Join Cadbury and Hapeebury on a Happy Mission around the nation (and galaxy) in sharing more happiness! 

What the f*ck is this? Seriously, I don’t have a clue…